Latest Posts

fighting perfectionism.

this semester, i found journaling to be quite therapeutic. throughout middle school and high school, my mom continually encouraged me to document my thoughts, opinions, and ideas through journaling. however, for years, i contested. throughout high school, i bought journal after journal attempting to consistently channel my thoughts and store them in one place. personally, i found it very difficult to routinely pause and write my thoughts.

since beginning college in late august, i’ve fallen into a “groove” if you will. recording my thoughts, and more importantly, recording my prayers has made the Lord’s goodness tangible. it has been so neat to flip back and reflect on the Father’s faithfulness and favor in my life and the lives of others. — JESUS IS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it’s rare for my backpack to be without my journal. because of this, my journal mimics my mind and serves to document sporadic moments of inspiration, poetry, words of my friends, dreams, desires, and even things as silly as what type of backsplash i want in my first home.

to be completely honest, bent papers and imperfect handwriting became a hindrance to my creativity. when writing in my journal if i bent a page or misspelled a word, i’d have to tear the whole page out of the journal. when writing in my journal, i’d see the torn pages, and be continually reminded of my failure. i’d close my journal and walk away, leaving my journal on my desk for months. then months later, i’d pick up another notebook as another attempt to routinely document my thoughts. as i jumped from journal to journal- i tore out page after page, eventually giving up completely. i had this envisionment of how everything i created was supposed to look, and if i didn’t meet the vision, i had failed myself.

this semester has been home to some of my fondest memories in my life thus far, but it has also been a semester of struggle and sadness that has led to tremendous growth. because of this, i decided to begin writing in a journal. this time, i was determined to flood the pages by the end of the semester.

I BENT PAGES-RIPPED PAGES OUT-SCRIBBLED ON PAGES-SPILLED COFFEE ON PAGES-PASTED MY FAVORITE IMAGES AND HANDWRITTEN NOTES- all of which are monumental for me, considering prior to this semester i would have SCREAMED if i misspelled a word or bent a page.

it is now december tenth and my journal has about six pages left. looking back at my semester, i am so glad that i recorded my thoughts and feelings. reading back over my thoughts after an afternoon spent in the sun, rereading my favorite book, sitting in the cool green grass. when i read over the page entitled ‘september 18,’ it was almost like i could feel how the sun felt on my skin.

ALL OF THAT TO STAY! writing has allowed me to process my thoughts, grow, and learn about myself. it has truly been neat to see my mind and heart flow onto paper. much that is dear to my heart is kept in my journal, which is now dear to me as well. i’ve become fond of how clouds float in the sky and how the cold air feels on my face when i walk out of my building in the mornings. i can read back and remember how i felt when i hung out with certain people. i’ll look back and read about that night i sat in the Lord’s presence and remember what a sweet time that was.

i’m sure that much of this post is common knowledge, but i just wanted to encourage you all to grab a notebook and a pen- and write about the things that you’re grateful for, struggling with, and longing for. sit and dwell in the moment that you’re in- because soon it will be gone. take your notebook with you everywhere you go- to school, the grocery store, on an airplane, outdoors- everywhere. instead of picking up your phone, grab your journal and write about your day or your thoughts. WRITE IT ALL DOWN! even the little things.

you have a beautiful mind. your feelings are valid. you are loved. you are enough. document whatever season you are in, whether it be a season of struggle or triumph. i can just imagine reading back through my first completed journal and remember how it felt to push past the bent pages and scribbles. i’ve realized that i’ve let my perfectionism hold me back. it is hard- but i am working to leave those thoughts and feelings behind me.

i am attempting to push past that wall and i am flourishing because of that.

i am really happy where i am at.

life is sweet and Jesus is genuinely the coolest.

thank you for reading along and loving me for where i’m at. 🙂

— from the girl who loves yellow.

ATL 2 LYH.

HELLO EVERYBOOOODDDY!

Yikes. It’s been a hot minute.

It took me a very long time to write this post.

In case you were wondering, I moved to Lynchburg and survived my first week of college (MORE LIKE FIRST MONTH- like I said before… It took me a very long time to write this blog post).

I write all of that to say- college was not at all what I had anticipated.

I will say one thing- college is an enlarged version of summer camp. That being said- I am still waiting for the ‘summer night’ feeling to ware off. But, I think that might just be college and all of its glory. The ‘summer night’ feeling is classified as ‘sitting in class and then walking to the library to hit the books for the remainder of the day but then also doing something really spontaneous and fun at some point in the day… and then doing it all over again.’

These past couple of weeks have been pretty similar to a roller coaster… and yes, I do mean that quite literally.

The first day of school was the closest I’ve ever been to a full on meltdown, yet there have been a handful of days, including this past one, that will probably go down as some of the best days… EVER.

I know one thing for sure… I will build my life on Christ. Like the Housefires song says ‘It is a firm foundation.’ He will never leave us nor forsake us. Christ is for us, not against us. And He is the supplier of ALL good things.

I have experienced true joy, and that, I know comes solely from the Father.

These days of extreme, pure joy are truly glimpses of the Kingdom. I can say that in full confidence, knowing that the Lord is the source of all good things.

The Lord is in the process of breaking me. I’ve come to realize that the Lord has to break me, in order to restore me.

Jesus wrecked me last night (I wrote this part of the post on Thursday). Full on. The Holy Spirit has been so present in my time here at Liberty. He is always with us- but its just a matter of if we choose to sense and acknowledge the Spirit. Our campus pastor sensed that the Father was, and still is moving on this campus. He decided that he wanted last night to be a time of thanksgiving. A time to truly give thanks to the Lord for all that He has done and what He will continue to do. My heart was yearning for time with the Lord- yearning for something greater than myself. I walked back to my dorm in complete awe of what the Lord is doing here on my campus.

Before coming to school, older friends of mine would constantly remind me that I’d have to “fight for rest.” AND BOY DID THEY MEAN IT! I have truly learned that for myself. I am three weeks into college and I’m completely wiped. There is truly something special about rest. I think rest comes to us in various forms- not just hopping into bed and taking a quick nap. But, true rest comes in Christ.

 

I’m pretty much just typing a bunch of random thoughts and ideas into this post- but there’s just so much to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEY! I changed my major… AGAIN! Yep. When I first applied to Liberty I was a business major (???), switched to Global Studies, then to Journalism, and now we’re back to Global Studies- I am completely content and very stinking excited. The Lord truly guided me in the process of switching my major. I feel 110% confident knowing that I am where I am supposed to be.

Since arriving at Liberty, I’ve had constant affirmation that this is where the Lord wants me to be, at least for the time being, and that is a wonderful feeling.

I’d also love to give a quick shoutout to all my friends- near and far. You are loved so dearly by me and the One who CREATED you. My friends here love me so dang well. I am grateful beyond words.

I am currently walking through the process of stepping into the person that God is calling me to be. I have a long ways to go- but I am extremely grateful that the Lord has called me where He has. Here’s to season after season of growth. Ask the Lord to reveal Himself to you, and He will.

Collectively- this blog post has taken me approximately two and a half weeks to compile (YIKES). I am overjoyed that you’d take time to read this post. You are truly so very sweet. I hope that this day treats you beautifully. If any of you ever find yourself in good ole’ Lynchburg, VA- please send me a message on Instagram or shoot me a text. I’d love to get to know you and show you around my new home. 🙂

Colossians 3:15.

hi. hello. what’s up, july?

hi.

hello.

what’s up?

i’m currently typing away- listening to lany’s new album, surrounded by clothes, books i’ve yet to read, and a room that is in desperate need of a deep clean.

HAPPY SUMMER!!!

since i’ve talked to you last… i believe i’ve graduated high school, been to the beach, read quite a few new books, and traveled to my soon to be new home (LYNCHBURG, VA)!!! i’ve got nothing but heart eyes for this summer. i’m halfway through- and LIVING MY BEST LIFE.

OH AND DID I MENTION THAT MY STINKIN’ COOL SISTER MOVED TO AUSTRALIA???

yeah… ^^^ that happened. i felt the need to share that. hold on one sec… i’m going to get sentimental here. i am extremely proud of my sister. lauren marie is one of the most hard working chicks out there… she’s pretty dang cool, too. she is following His calling and did every single thing that it took to get there. she fought so hard to get to australia and she’s there. living it up. i’m seeing the fruit in her life that comes straight and only from Christ.

like a wise man once said, ‘When the praises go up, the blessings come down.’ 😉

keep doin’ you, sis. BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL.

okay!!! back to college talk.

let me tell you- there is something LIBERATING about receiving your college id… WHO’S WITH ME? i feel like adulthood is creeping up on me. THAT IS ONE STRANGE FEELING!

i’d love to share some of the photos i took whilst in lynchburg. this trip was the first time that i really got to enjoy the town itself. my friend grace, her mother, and i took a stroll during golden hour. i truly haven’t felt at peace in quite a while- that quiet afternoon was just what i needed! walking along the streets with clear blue sky and a nice breeze was AMAZING. and hey- honey lavender iced tea just gained its newest fan (p.s. – it’s me).

here are a couple of photos from 6.25.17 —

visiting lynchburg was quite the spur of the moment event. at first, i had planned on skipping out on orientation. but, i am so very pleased with the decision that i made. visiting lynchburg one last time before move in day, made me fall in love with the little town all over again. people fascinate me. i thoroughly enjoyed making new friends and hearing about their lives & how they landed in lynchburg!

i had intended this post to be sort of a ‘catch up on where t hol is at’ thing- but it seems to be turning into more of a ‘taylor goes to orientation’ entry.

SOOOO I HAVE TO BE HONEST.

i have four blog posts that i’ve yet to finish nor publish. those are going to be hitting the inter webs here very soon. i’m excited to share my brain with you all. i’ll be traveling some in these next couple of weeks and then i’m headed off to camp. that being said- there will probably be an influx of entries on here in the near future.

starbucks drink of the summer green drink that resembles shrek that is always in my hand :: matcha lemonade (two scoops of matcha) i’m addicted. it’s fine. i’m fine.

thanks for following along.

i am grateful to have friends that want to read my thoughts.

until next time.

– from the girl who loves yellow

accepting the gift of life

WELL, HEY THERE!

Yikes… it’s been quite a bit, hasn’t it?

I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been in quite the creative rut recently- recently meaning the past two months.

To be completely honest, my space has been a mess (physically and mentally). It is extremely easy to ‘clog’ your life. For me personally, I think that I’ve been polluting my life in a couple of different areas. This post will definitely be a little all over the place, but honestly, that’s how my life is… SO!

Towards the middle of May, I began to realize that something was up. The regular, perky, cheerful Taylor Holliday was no more. I became negative, nasty, and BORING. Now let’s get real… that’s no fun. The people around me started to notice and so did I. That’s really one of the most awful feelings… starting to realize that you’re headed down a slippery slope. AND C’MON! That’s not a fun place to be. So, I decided to identify the contributing factors.

LET’S BEGIN WITH PHYSICAL SPACE… MY ROOM.

If you’ve stepped foot into my room at anytime in the past month- you know that it has been a mess (AND BY MESS I MEAN DISGUSTING, NEVER ENDING, PIT OF DEATH). I don’t think that I truly realized that your physical space is a direct correlation with your body and mind. YIKES! I did not want to be out of control of my life anymore. And by the looks of my room, I needed to get busy. So, that’s just what I did. Our spaces- rooms, offices, cars, etc. are beautiful pieces of self expression! We live our lives in those spaces! Shouldn’t we nurture and respect them?! I spent some time cleaning, opening the blinds, and lit a candle. BOOM! Problem solved. After straightening up my room, I headed to my car. I’ll tell you this, the second I finished cleaning, my mind immediately cleared up. CLEANING IS LIBERATING! I’ll tell you that. My room is finally my safe space again. I naturally gravitate towards my room, again- that is one great feeling.

If you’re reading this, and it sounds oddly familiar. Take a look around where you’re sitting right now. What spaces in your life need improvement?

EMOTIONAL SPACE IS SO IMPORTANT!

It is so easy to change the direction and quality of your day just by thought. Ever heard the phrase, ‘I woke up on the wrong side of the bed?’ I WAS WAKING UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED FOR A MONTH STRAIGHT. That’s so yuck!!! *EARTH TO TAYLOR!!!* We only get to live this life once! Why waste days complaining, putting others down, and wasting beautiful time on this planet? It’s amazing how a good breakfast, a great night’s sleep, and a positive outlook on life can change your day. HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS. Take the toxic stuff OUT! I cannot stress that enough. Tell yourself that you’re going to have a good day, you’re going to be nice to others, and you’re going to make a difference in this world. You are your biggest critic. Put your mind to something and do it. I’ve been wanting to write a new post, in fact, I have five drafts just hanging out… BUT I’VE CHOSE TO DWELL IN NEGATIVITY! That’s no way to live!

Now, I’ll have to apologize. This post has literally been to the moon and back. My mind just ate a Pixie Stick.

I say all of this to say, you’re in charge of your life. You’re in charge of your summer. You’re in charge of your day, your hours, your minutes- and they’re limited. Take charge, clean your space, wear that outfit, say it, do it- DREAM! Let’s live. Live a positive, uplifting, productive life.

I haven’t been up to much this summer- but I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to, what areas of your life need improvement, and what you plan to tackle this summer! Leave me a comment below!

I want to live my life like ‘!!!’ Here’s to doing just that.

– From the girl who loves yellow

motivation monday… a day late

I often find myself lost in the monotony of my ‘everyday.’ Lacking inspiration or motivation, I fall into a downwards spiral towards towards Netflix documentaries and drive-throughs. In this past year, I’ve learned that productivity leads to a path of peace (at least for me). I’ve found joy in novels, writing, drinking herbal tea and conversation. Obviously, rest and solitude are wonderful and very much needed. However, I found getting out and shaking up the ‘everyday routine’ has led to growth. Lately, I’ve been getting off the couch and driving to Starbucks, or the library. Grab that novel that you’ve been meaning to start, and head over your favorite park, and GET LOST (books rock).

I have always been an independent gal. Personally, I enjoy sitting alone at coffee shops and running errands alone. Being alone makes me feel like an adult… I cannot wait to be an adult. I say that now, but give it five years- I’m almost positive that I’ll want to take that statement back. But, for now, I’ll dream of the city and independent living (well, probably with a couple of roommates but never mind that).

Find what recharges your mind. It’s entirely different for each and every one of us. For some it could be taking a walk, and for others it’s playing an instrument or reading a book. Our minds work 24/7. Think about it, our brains are workaholics!!! We’ve gotta treat them every once and a while. I’m a firm believer in recharging. So, do not feel bad for telling the ladies and gents that you are taking a day off- A DAY FOR YOURSELF! YES! YOURSELF! Take that afternoon and claim your seat at Starbucks- you’ll be shocked at how much you’ll accomplish.

I encourage each and every one of you to find a creative outlet. Meaning, do anything other than sit on your telephone. ANYTHING. I BEG YOU! Search locally for service opportunities! Selflessness is always in, my friends.

Do your research- find a topic or subject that interests you. In this past year, I’ve dug into environmental issues- specifically agricultural sustainability and water scarcity. I am continually amazed by how many people are willing to dive in head first to end the water crisis!!! I just recently read a book called “Garbology.” Point being, find something that interests you + hit the ground running! Let’s broaden our horizons together.

I find myself walking on a path of tediousness, asking myself “how did I get here?” In the past couple of months, I’ve chosen to veer off that path. Let me tell you, my mental and physical health have drastically improved, not to mention my overall wellbeing. So, do yourself a favor and get moving. What interests you?

– From the girl who loves yellow

the weeknd

As a teenager, I find it difficult to pass up opportunities to go out. I think that inside of me, I have a fear of missing out or being left out. That’s just how it is.

Last year, I discovered that Friday nights, spent at home are my favorite (yes, I really do mean that).

This year, I have become a full-fledged homebody.

Our minds and bodies need rest. Sure, eight hours of sleep most nights is sufficient, but some extra rest + relaxation here and there simply cannot hurt.

I’ve found that leaving my phone out of the Friday night equation = PEACE. Give yourself a well deserved break from emails, Snapchats, and texts! Be present with yourself and the moment that you’re in.

What to wear & What do to :

One. Grab that book that you’ve been meaning to read or head over to your local bookstore and pick out a title that tickles your fancy… & THEN GET READING!

Three. Take a walk

Two. Put on comfy clothes (your favorite vintage tee that was a steal @ Goodwill)

Three. Order a pizza

Four. Light a candle

Five. Curl up in your favorite blanket

Six. Find a good record or Spotify playlist

Seven. Crank the stereo

Eight. Grab that pint of ice cream from the freezer (yes, you’ll probably finish it in a couple sittings… or two… or one… no shame.)

Nine. Turn on your current Netflix obsession and say goodbye to your Friday night. Before you know it, the light will creep in and Saturday morning will be sure to greet you!

– From the girl who wears yellow

young body, old soul.

I’m currently seated at Starbucks listening to a jazz music playlist on Spotify. I’ve just recently acquired an ear for jazz.

Anyways, when I walked in, a paper copy of the ‘New York Times’ held by a beautiful, youthful looking woman with the richest skin, caught my eye. I couldn’t help but comment on the fact that she was reading a PAPER newspaper (She was so very sweet- I do recommend talking to strangers)! It seems as though everything is going electronic these days and to be completely honest, I just can’t make the switch. There’s just something about a crisp page. Who’s with me?! I was captivated by how she was lost in the ‘Business & Finance’ column. My mind immediately rushed to slow Wednesday afternoons, spent listening to the radio, in the heart of Maycomb County, Alabama, an imaginary district in ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ (one of my favorite novels). I caught a glimpse of Atticus reading the paper whilst Scout curls up on his lap. Of course, it was ‘The Alabama Register.’ But, still, you get the point. I found a paralell. This woman was sipping on a Starbucks drink and reading the newspaper in the midst of what I’m sure was a busy work day. Minutes passed and the distractions of everyday life creeped back in. Cell phones rang, cars pulled out of the lot, the day went on.

I say all of that to say… I’m eighteen and I think that I finally have learned and understand who I am. I’m an old soul and a dreamer.

I would also like to add that adults treat me nicer when I am wearing nice clothes.

I’m a dreamer. I seem to always be thinking about what it would be like to grow up during the second World War or in the midst of the Civil Rights Movement. My mind tries to imagine what the energy would feel like running through my bones. I truly wonder what it would be like to listen to a Frank Sinatra record (during his time), on the floor of my parents’ living room, past my bedtime- like how it is in the movies. Sometimes, I imagine myself marching in a peaceful protest for Civil Rights. OH MY WORD! ( <— Used for emphasis because I just jumped in my seat due to excitement) I can just imagine myself at one of The Beatles’ first concerts in America. Wow. That would be quite the experience.

A time machine sounds pretty cool right about now.

Quite often I ponder my 40’s. How they feel + what they’ll look like. I have some ideas.

Sometimes I feel like Africa is calling my name. I imagine myself living in a tin hut. Other times, I debate with myself in my head if I want 3 or 6 kids in my suburban, ranch style home with a wonderful porch & large, flat green yard. But, then somedays I dress really nice (like a business woman or something) and imagine myself walking the streets of Manhattan.

I think that the cool thing is that we’ll never know. Not until it hits us. We’ll wake up, roll over and one day be forty- with no warning. At least that’s how I’ve imagined it. So, for now, we get to sit in our math classes, our beds, and our cars and wonder. Just sit and wonder. To some that might be agonizing, but for me it is promising. I also think that dreaming comes easier to some than others. Some of you might be reading this entry and think that I have gone NUTS. But, fortunately, my mind is prone to wonder. For that, I am forever grateful.

What are your aspirations?

– From the girl who loves yellow